So last Monday evening Bob Casey and Sen. Man on Dog took to the National Constitution Center to have it out in a public debate. It was re-aired on PCN on some of the crappiest quality video feed since the year 1982. The shit was yellow. That weird old VCR coloration along with some lovely echo-y sound quality. But whatever, the content was there and that's all that really matters, Casey's voice was still snore inducing and Man on Dog was just as batshit crazy as normal, no amount of yellow tint and poor sound will change either thing. You should be able to watch the full debate via 6ABC here if you'd like.
The first question of the night came from 6ABC anchor (the highest paid local anchor in the U.S.; his salary is more than that of Jon Stewart if you can believe it) Jim Gardener. His question: What lines Iran or North Korea would have to cross before you voted for going to war against them." Casey's response: "There are no lines that I can identify." What the fuck! Casey must've said that the U.S. must leave all options on the table (i.e. nukes) ten times throughout the night. But he doesn't know when or why he'd use them? Man on Dog kept saying that Casey is not leaving all options on table. Chroist. Casey is a fuckwad and Man on Dog is a lying fuckwad. Man on Dog started rattling off about the Star Wars missle defense system. Ugh. Man on Dog didn't even try to answer the question.
At the halfway point, the candidates were allowed to ask each other a question. Man on Dog got to ask first. His two-part question was on healtcare. He stated that there are fewer physicians in the state than ever before and that Casey is against caps on malpractice suits and that Casey wanted to import allegedly unsafe drugs (from crazy bass ackwards places like Canada I guess). His questions were: why are you against liability reform and why do you want to ruin the pharmaceutical industry. Oh so dramatic. Casey did answer well in saying that settlements regarding malpractice suits make up such a small portion of overall healthcare costs and then slapped Man on Dog in saying how Sen. Specter was also for importing FDA approved drugs from craaaaazy places like Canada.
The haymaker Casey's campaign came up with for his single question he was allowed to ask Sen. Man on batshit crazy fucking Dog was this: "Will you make a commitment tonight to release five years of your personal income tax returns like I will do tomorrow." [chirp chirp chirp] Man on Dog seemed to be holding back a smile at how fucking stupid a question it was. He said he would. I have no idea if he has done so since the debate or if he plans on doing so, but it don't matter. That shit was fucking stupid. I couldn't believe that was the question he asked Man on Dog while he had him in front of a huge audience like that. Has he never heard of a place in between Europe and Asia commonly referred to as the Middle East where we are currently fighting a pretty big and resource intensive war or two (or three or four secretly?). Well, I guess when you don't have much of a stance on things and you decide early on that you're not going to run an issues-based campaign against a person so batshit fucking crazy on the issues like Man on Dog, you gotta go the bean counter route and hope that a fucking tax return is going to give all those swing voters the boner they need to get out to the polls on November 7th. Prediction: they won't.
Then came a question on the minds of many a Philadelphian on stricter gun laws. A question similar to one raised in September at the Unitarian church gathering I went to. Casey stated that new gun laws are not the answer, but that we shouldn't cut back on cops programs [programs that put shitloads of cops on the streets under Clinton when crime went down and were subsequently cut back under W resulting in... more crime!]. He mentioned the same anecdote from the Unitarian church gathering about how there are some 5,000 gun dealers in Philadelphia and only 25 ATF agents. He also started to kiss D.A. Lynne Abraham's ass which set off a whole new set of alarm bells.
Man on Dog fired back by stating how he had the endorsement of the PA Fraternal Order of Police and that of the PA State Troopers. Man on Dog fired back with his own research on gun dealers in Philadelphia. He said that he met an ATF agent on the street by Independence Hall who came up to him after hearing Casey on the radio. The agent told Man on Dog that Casey was bullshitting and that there were only 22 dealers in Philly and that ATF agents aren't the ones who police them either. Heh. Casey's rebuttal was that he had the endorsement of the Philadelphia FOP. Ugh.
The next question was one Casey's been running from for months now. Which programs would you cut in order to cut federal spending. Man on Dog listed several reasons why spending was so high right now: that we were in a recession [with the Dow Jones at 12K? Repugs are talking about how great everything is these days] and during a recession, entitlement spending goes up; the costs of war; the costs of dealing with natural disasters. Man on Dog said he'd start with Medicare/Medicaid. He voted for increased funding (or something, I didn't catch it all and I don't know all the back story) for Medicare because it was a big, but important expense. But that there was too much fraud in the system and that the program shouldn't receive the monies it receives. Casey's response was that Man on Dog voted for all the budgets and increases in foreign indebtedness. Good points Bobby, but WILL YOU ANSWER A GOD DAMN FUCKING QUESTION. Man on Dog pressed on and noted the non-answer and that the only "program" Casey has said he'd cut in the past was consultants. The last time I checked, consultants aren't an actual government funded program. He could've used the simple Oreo analogy and the Penatgon's inflated spending. Dear idiots working on the Casey campaign and the rest of the DSCC and DCCC campaigns, use the damn cookie analogy. I expect checks for consultant fees afterwards.
The debate was horrible and generally painful to watch, but I did it. I did it to see if Casey got any better. Marginally, but at this point, it just don't matter. Man on Dog is still Man on Dog. He's an incredible politician. I can't stand the fucker, but good god that fucker is good at what he does. The engine in that pretty little hate machine is revving high and hot.
Oh and yesterday, I was walking through the Gayborhood and saw a bunch of signs up on streetlamps. The sign was a big picture of Man on Dog's face with rat whiskers drawn in and the words "Ratty Ricky" on them or something like that. Underneath was "$165,200" – the annual salary for a U.S. Senator. In smaller lettering was (paraphrased): Rick Santorm doesn't care about the working people with a salary like that and he voted against minimum wage increases xx times. Well, sorry to burst the bubble of whatever group has been putting up those signs, but PA Treasurer Bob Casey was the one who signed the checks for the middle of the night pay raises which have already cost several top PA legislators their jobs. I'm not saying that Ricky doesn't give a shit, I don't think he does [but he fakes it well]. I'm saying that Casey's shot himself in the foot by signing those checks and not saying otherwise a year ago. More on the poster here.
Stupid is as stupid does.
The Democrats have no sack and I don't think they have a chance unless they get their act together. They have just over a fortnight to do so nationwide. If they can't win now, they should heed the advice of Mr. Baseball George Will:
If, after the Foley episode — a maraschino cherry atop the Democrats' delectable sundae of Republican miseries — the Democrats cannot gain 13 seats, they should go into another line of work.
They could all get primo jobs as greeters at their local Wal Marts. They're already used to shaking hands with strangers and smiling that great shit-eating smile they always seem to have on.
