philly

I didn't stick around to hear the commencement at my graduation. I didn't see Lady's either. I saw part of one of my friends' commencement at my first college down in DC who graduated a semester early, but not the rest who graduated the next year [I was already back in NY and still in finals I think]. But a good commencement speech is always fun to watch on C-SPAN, they'll be replaying them all the time for the next couple of weeks if they stick to their usual routine. Good ones from this year and classics from years past.

Howard points to Stephen Colbert's 2006 commencement speech at Knox College, his non-alma mater. And let me just pull out two of my favorite chunks:

There are so many challenges facing this next generation, and as they said earlier, you are up for these challenges. And I agree, except that I don't think you are. I don't know if you're tough enough to handle this. You are the most cuddled generation in history. I belong to the last generation that did not have to be in a car seat. You had to be in car seats. I did not have to wear a helmet when I rode my bike. You do. You have to wear helmets when you go swimming, right? In case you bump your head against the side of the pool. Oh, by the way, I should have said, my speech today may contain some peanut products.

and

But you have one thing that may save you, and that is your youth. This is your great strength. It is also why I hate and fear you. Hear me out. It has been said that children are our future. But does that not also mean that we are their past? You are here to replace us. I don't understand why we're here helping and honoring them. You do not see union workers holding benefits for robots.

And after reading this one, I was reminded of two other great commencement speeches by two more of my favorite comedians. This one by Conan O'Brien at Harvard's 2000 commencement and this one by Jon Stewart at William & Mary's 2004 commencement.

Anyone out there have a really good commencement address? I don't even know who spoke at my commencement [which I did not attend].

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